दो पल .

दो पल की ज़िंदगी के
दो पल हमें देदो.
ना ज़्यादा ना कम,
जो है वो हमें देदो.

यूँ तो हज़ारों साल जी लें तुम्हारे बिना,
मगर बिच्छाड़ने का अगर इरादा है,
तो ये जान अभी लेलो.

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Paris is not all that Befikre!

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I’ve been dying to write this review ever since I started watching this movie. Just 10 minutes into the movie, and I knew this was another typical Bollywood movie set to destroy the brains of an easily influenced audience (read teenagers who are learning the language and dreaming about love).

Only a few weeks back I had written a blogpost about how Bollywood movies ruined my life, since I was a huge fan of this genre of movies when I was a teenager. And I’m not surprised that they’re still making bullshit movies like these in 2016, alongside some sensible ones like Queen, The Lunchbox and the like. And here I’m going to make a comparison with Queen the film as well, because they’ve shown Paris too. But not like in Befikre!

First of all, let me tell you that Paris is not all that ‘Befikre’ : ‘Carefree’. No, you don’t see people kissing like that everywhere! The movie starts with a song which is about the lips and people are kissing everywhere. People kiss in public, yes, but not like they’re horny and they don’t have a room. Then, hellooooooooooo? You think you can get away with slapping a cop in public, stealing a mannequin’s underwear, sleeping in a hotel room that’s not yours et crap? If it wasn’t a bollywood movie, Dharam would have paid well for slapping a cop and next time Shyra had said ‘I dare you’, he would have begged her not to. But well, it’s a bollywood movie, and anything can happen in Bollywood movies.

Next : I don’t understand how he managed to get an appartment in a beautiful neighbourhood in Paris when he is only a standup comedian? Do these people have any idea how difficult it is to find an appartment in Paris? Go read the desperate posts on the facebook group of Indians in Paris and you’ll understand how difficult it is to manage roti, kapda aur makaan in this ‘city of love’. So either Dharam is rich as fuck, or the filmmakers are joking with us.

Also, isn’t Shyra born and brought up in Paris? How can her Hindi be better than French then? Her French sounds like she just heard the sentence from someone and babbered it in the next shot, without appropriate expressions or tone. I honestly think she could have done a better job with the French. Ofcourse the Indians wouldn’t notice that because it would sound so exotic, but for those who really know the language and live in France, then hellooooo – they don’t talk like that! Trust me, I’ve heard little Sikh kids in the Gurudwara in Paris (who are actually born and brought up here), and their accent really is French. So that was such a failed attempt by Vaani Kapoor.

Another important thing : It gets cold as fuck in Paris. But for our Bollywood actors, its always sun and bikinis and shorts weather! So either the actors in this film are sleeping through the winter months (because they don’t show that) or the year long skirt weather is a lie. Ofcourse you know the truth!

Apart from that, as I read in another review of the movie, I totally agree that there is no chemistry between the two lead actors. There was no point where you could feel the love between them. Because guess what? There was none. It would have been a better end if they just decided to be friends, because that’s what they were better at. But the whole haath thaamna for shaadi and all in the end just ruined the whole movie. Umm, which is already quite ruined? And not to forget, Dharam doesn’t know how to swin and he jumps with her from a cliff in the end? I am pretty sure he’s dead by now. Tsk tsk. R.I.P Dharam.

If you are an easily influenced teenager (as I was some years ago) and you’re excited about Paris and the beautiful language that is French – then let me tell you that this movie is not what Paris is all about. It may be the city of love and beautiful sights, but unless you’re Ambani’s son, your life isn’t going to be like this here. Nor is mine. This movie is faaaaaar faaaaaar away from the reality of the lives of Indians living here. Sure, there must be some who can afford paying fines to the police, owning expensive cars, and getting married in the countryside, but that must be the reality of only one in hundred of them. So please, if you watch this movie, consider it to be a nightmare and forget it. And if you really wanna watch a movie about Paris, then watch Queen, which gives a more real picture of the whole Indian in Paris scene. You know what I mean. And here I’d also like to mention that Lisa Haydon had done a much better job with the French in Queen than Vaani in Befikre.
Phew, there is still some hope till we have some sensible filmmakers like that of Queen.

When Paris scared the shit out of me .

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Paris sounds all beautiful and dreamy, yes. But it can also be a scary place. As I had not imagined it to be. In India, I’m always asked to be careful with my belongings and also the men who stare. But it was quite stupid of me to think that Paris would be different. I was under the impression that it would be safe, and their won’t be thiefs and rapists walking around in the crowd. But well, somethings about the world you only understand when you’ve been there and done that.

So this incident occoured a few weeks ago, when I was going to a friend’s place around 9 pm. Me and my friend got off La Chapelle station, and as soon as we got out, there were men crowding at the entrance of the station, selling packs of cigarettes. I found that quite wierd actually. People selling cigarettes on the road!
Anyway, I wasn’t really paying attention to much around me since I was kinda low and lost in my head. We were walking towards our friend’s place and apparently these two guys were following us (as my friend later told me). He said that they had been pointing to your legs and passing some comments, but he ignored it, thinking that they must be just checking me out. Well, no, they were not interested in the legs, but the phone that I was carrying in my hand. I wasn’t carrying a bag that day, and my coat didn’t have a big enough pocket and I was wearing a dress, so no pockets, and thus I was carrying my iPhone 6s in my hand. Later I would regret using an expensive phones. Its literally like carrying 800 euros in your hand instead of a small device. Dangerous, dangerous I tell you!

So, well, this is what happened next – We crossed the road and my friend pushed me to the left, since he knew that the guys were behind us. But unfortunately the signal on the left was green, so we couldn’t cross the road and we stood their waiting. Within two second, one of the guys pushed my friend from the left, and said ‘pardon’, and I too looked towards him, trying to listen to what he was saying. Ofcourse all my concentration was on them, and within that moment, that weak moment, when my attention was to something else, the other guy on my right snatched my phone and ran.

It was dark and not many people were there, so nobody really paid attention to what had happened. I didn’t even waste a second in waiting their or telling my friend as to what had happened. I just ran after the guy on that dark empty street. My friend was still standing there, with the stuff he was carrying, not knowing what had happened.

I was running for sometime, not knowing what I was running for. Ofcourse I wouldn’t be able to catch him, I thought to myself. I was no runner. And I wasn’t wearing sports shoes either. I was dressed  up for a party, and I was running behind a thief. And I was shouting in English. Well, when your mind is blank and someone stole your phone, you even forget which country you’re in. But then I saw my friend running after him, and since he’s better at running, he quickly ran past me. Luckily enough, it wasn’t a straight road anymore. It was kind of a perimeter of a garden that we were running along, and suddenly when we got to the other side of the street, it was all lit up. There were people, bars, and lights, and everybody saw that three people were running after each other. And thankfully my friend was in his senses enough to shout in French. ‘Monsieur, s’il vous plait’, ‘Monsieur s’il vous plait’ (Sir, please! Sir, please!). I was quite pissed as to why he was saying please to a thief! But well, that worked!

After running non-stop for quite sometime, the guy stopped, turned back and handed the phone to him, saying ‘C’est bon c’est bon’, ‘its okay, its okay’. That when we realized that there was another crossing ahead. If he ran any longer, a car would have hit him, so he had to stop, otherwise we would have caught him anyway.

I was literally dead after all that running, but when I got back my phone, well, that feeling is inexplicable. Though, I couldn’t get this incident out of my head for daaaays, but I was really proud of myself for not becoming weak in that moment and atleast trying for it. You never know, sometimes the effort is worth it! As they say – God helps those who help themselves!

Well, now I am much more careful when I’m going out in Paris. Always carry a sling bag even if I just have a phone to carry. Always paying attention to who is walking behind me. Not taking out my phone in public if not urgent. Phew, quite a lesson learnt!