I’m always quite surprised when I think about how life has changed in terms of the friends we have. I remember how when we were younger, it was always very important to have a best friend. Friendship seemed like an award. If someone called you their best friend in front of others, you felt proud and happy. We said we’ll be friends ‘forever’. But little did we know that forever is too short a period of time.
I don’t know about others, but I, I always had a difficult time having a stable group of friends. Maybe I was too selfish or ungrateful or maybe I just expected too much. My family always told me that I never stick to my friends and always end up fighting with them, because I don’t know how to adjust to situations and work according to others. And even after so many years after school, I fail to understand what went wrong. I’m sure it’s not just me here. I know you too have lost some friends on this journey. But why is that the case? Why can’t friendships remain stable throughout life?
The school friends we promised to be friends forever with, just moved away slowly. As the cities changed, our lives changed too. I know I’m not saying anything you don’t already know of. You do know that relationships change with time, as we grow up and meet new people. It’s easier to be the best of friends when someone is always around. The college friends who you always used to hang out with. The school friends you used to do all the mischiefs with. But as time goes by, and you move away into different spheres of life, there is nothing common anymore. You spend less time together, and you make lesser memories with them. Its gets difficult to understand each other, because you don’t share the same life struggles anymore.
I’ve come to understand that friendships are all about understanding. And understanding doesn’t and can’t come over the phone or a text. Remember when your closest friend in college broke up and came to you with tears in their eyes? The way you saw their pain and understood it so perfectly. It’s about that understanding, which can rarely come over a phone call or a text. When your struggles in life change, the people you find solace in, change too. We wouldn’t let go of our old friends, because we want them to be in our life, the way they used to. We’ll keep calling them; keep expecting them to be the same. You both will be putting in efforts, but the magic of that friendship is lost on the way somewhere. The magic that came with everyday laughter, teasing, hugging, running in the corridors, and so much more.
From school to college, from postgrad to a job, and from one job to another job, life and its struggles change again and again and again. It gets more and more difficult to maintain the friendships that we promised to keep forever. Its leads to more and more sadness and crushed expectations. But that doesn’t mean no friendship is forever. In the age of facebook, where you can have more than 1000 friends, the meaning of friendship itself has faded away. People are less and less patient with their friendships, and quickly move from one to another, because its so easier to meet new people. But what happened to the whole concept of friends forever that we admired when we were nine?
For me, the friendships that last forever are the ones that are baggage free. Because we were used to talking to them every day, we expect to continue that forever. No. When your situations change, the understanding of your friendship must change too. The friends who understand this, can fulfill their promise of being friends forever. Even if you don’t talk to them every day, you must know that they will be there for you when you need them. And even if you talk after two months, nothing should change between you. When you meet them, even if it’s once in an year, you should be able to accept the changes in them, and try to understand their new struggles.
Those are the friendships that last forever.
You don’t have to talk everyday till infinity, but be a part of each other’s lives until infinity.